By jaredhead on January 31, 2010
1) The Dark – I don’t know whether with me to call it a fear of the dark or just a general uneasiness in darkness. As a kid bedtime was terrifying for me and it took something that generated background noise to finally lull me to sleep. This is something that I still have today, although my use of a fan is also to keep the air from getting too stale in my room. But yes, I still maintain a healthy fear of the dark.
2) Bees/Wasps – Just get them the hell away with me. I want nothing to do with them. As long as they stay the optimal distance away form me we’re cool. This all occurred after having a Carpenter Bee land on my face when i was very young. All the running around and smacking it would not get it off of my face and since then I have wanted nothing to do with stinging bugs, let alone flying bugs.
3) Needles – Now this is a bit of a selective one. Sometimes I can be perfectly fine with getting a shot, but other times it’s like I’m some kind of spy and they’re about to inject me with truth serum. During the corrective surgery on my foot in 2009 I was actually watching the doctor work from beginning to end without any anxiety. But when it came time at the dentist to inject my gums to numb those teeth, oh man, I was not having it. Maybe it should be more like “Needles being injected in places that I can’t see.”
4) Earthquakes – Living in Los Angeles you’d think I should be used to them. Rolling back over to sleep after a 5.7, but no. The thing about earthquakes is unlike most natural disasters you can’t predict when they’ll hit and more importantly when one starts you have no idea how much worse it’s going to get. It may continue for another 5 seconds or 10 minutes. They are the ultimate mechanisms of humbling you into realizing just how out of control nature really is in the concrete sprawl.
Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged arkness, bees, bugs, darkd, disaster, doctor, earth, earthquake, fear, fears, hypo, hypodermic, hypodermic needle, insects, needle, needles, night, nighttime, quake, shake, sting, stinger, time, violent, visit, wasps
By jaredhead on January 30, 2010
“I walk in and his fist was at least three-quarters of the way up her ass. I’ve learned my lesson: knock on the door and don’t fall asleep around him.”
Humanity has a future.
Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged college, comedy, fisting, funny, heard, jokes, lol, over, overheard, porno, quotes, sex, wtf
By jaredhead on January 24, 2010
During discussions today a friend and I came to the conclusion that the art movement known as Mid-Century Modernism (my favorite) has almost no pretentiousness to be found within. My explination was long, drawn out, and something rather Harold Bloom-ish.
His was much better with its short, concise reasoning and sounds even better when spoken:
“That’s because all the designers are sitting in their mid-century modern bar with glass walls sippin’ on martinis. They’re not sitting their admiring their work either, that’d be pretentious. They’re getting shitfaced. In fact, one of them just vomited on a stool he designed.”
Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged alcohol, architecture, art, century, drinking, literature, mid, mod, modern, modernism, movement, pretentiousness
By jaredhead on January 22, 2010
My absence over the past few days is attributed to catching the flu.
My advice: Get a flu shot.
Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged all, bird, die!, flu, fuck, gon', H1N1, holy, influenza, swine, we
By jaredhead on January 17, 2010
That’s my goal for tonight: finish this fucking novel.
I’ve had about 6 Cokes, 2 Arnold Palmer’s, a individual alfredo chicken pizza and a full pizookie (Google it) with vanilla ice cream. If that doesn’t scream long haul I don’t know what to tell you folks.
It’s been a work in progress. What started as a NaNoWriMo idea (which I failed to complete in time) has turned into a introspective sharing of how and why I write. A deep, dark look in the suburbs and the revalation of their violence and drug fueled desires. Good music, badass Aston Martins and a dragon and raptor to boot.
Seriously, it’s balls.
And seriously, tonight it ends. I’ve said it so many times, but man, I feel it. This blog is a small warm-up for my writing tonight, and already I can feel that glow through the veins in me. My 180wpm fingers are in their locked and upright position. So son, let’s roll it all down and see what comes out in the morning. No sleep until I finish, hence the caffeine overload.
Let’s finish this bitch.
Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged 180, aston, aston martin, author, badw, bitch, dawg, finish, fucking, let's, martin, minute, mo, music, na, nano, nanowrimo, no, novel, ords, per, shit, this, word, words, wpm, wri, wrimo, write, writing, yo
By jaredhead on January 16, 2010
On a dark and stormy night, I was warned of its existence. Avoid if you can, satirize if you must.
But then again, isn’t it chicle cliche to avoid all the cliches?
Uh-oh, time to reconsider; amiright?
No, you’re wrong.
Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged all, at, author, avoid, costs, do, not, novel, pitfalls, prose, purple, purple prose, short, short story, story, this, to, what, what not to do, what to do, what to do what not to do, write, writing
By jaredhead on January 15, 2010
Ever have those moments when you’re working on something and the most unfitting, clashing kind of music comes on?
I’m sitting here writing about a car chase to gun battle in Downtown Long Beach while the theme to the video game Katamari Damacy (one of the few video games who’s music I enjoyed). Seriously, rolling things up with your godlike ball is completely relevant to people powerslidin’ near 200mph and eventual bullets whizzing through their long hair.
Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged angeles, beach, california, comedy, damacy, funny, games, humor, katamari, katamari damacy, long, Long Beach, los, los angeles, music, novel, plot, short, story, video, video games, write, writing
By jaredhead on January 14, 2010
Everyone’s got one.
Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged are, asshole, assholes, breakfast, breakfast of champions, butt, champions, everyone, everyone's, fart, fi, fiction, got, has, kurt, like, literary, literature, novel, novels, of, one, opinion, opinions, opinions are like assholes everyone has one, opinions are like assholes everyones got one, punch, sci, sci-fi, science, science fiction, scifi, vonnegut, vonnegut's, words, writing
By jaredhead on January 13, 2010
“Yeah, I was totally like, tuckered out after. I’ve never had 6 hours of non-stop sex before. I even sent a text message in the middle of climaxing.”
Go on…
Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged california, cerritos, college, conversations, don't, education, evesdropping, for real, happened, hear, kids, overheard, seriously, sex, students, teens, this, to, want, you
By jaredhead on January 2, 2010
Today’s wake-up song: “New Year’s Day” by U2
My name is Jared H-E-to the A-D. I like to write sometimes when I’m lazy, and even listen to Jay-Z occasionally.
Oh my was that delightfully awful.
So people gonna’ rock, people gonna’ roll, writing is gon’ save my soul. You see, this is how it works for me. Writing is the second purest form of expression of one’s self (dancing, to me, is much more closer to true art). It’s certainly the purest of the mind as it requires that ability to see the unseen.
So that’s why I’m here. I’ve got stories to tell the world. Really, we writers are like translators, interpreters if you will. We see shit in our heads that should drive the common out of their brains, but we keep our cool. We’re a different breed. When we walk into a room, we look right into people’s eyes and know exactly who they are. Every single detail you can imagine is absorb through us, cranium’s on a swivel soaking up the atmosphere.
We’re sponges.
Writer’s have always had extreme historical significance, but lately they’ve decided to throw off this weight and go pomo [post-modern]. I have a huge problem with post-modernism.
To me post-modernism is a celebration of aesthetics over content. Stories have always been used as a form of escapism, and PoMo’s recent need for kitchen-sink realism has violated these rules…and people call it art. Sure, it may be art, but it’s not substance. In case you don’t catch what I’m saying, here’s an explanation I came up with:
“You’re the owner of a tow-truck company and one of your tow-trucks has broken down into such bad condition, it’s cheaper to replace it than fix. So you send out two people to get a new tow-truck: Modernism and PoMo. PoMo returns first and calls you to the front to see what he’s brought back: A Ferrari F430.
“But it’s got great performance and most of all: good looks!” he argues.
“Why did you get this over a real tow truck?” you ask.
“If you can’t understand why on your own without any input from me, then you’re just too stupid to understand it,” he retorts.
Meanwhile Modernism has arrived in a brand new tow-truck. Eager to get on the job, he checks in and heads out to help the common man.”
So that’s that…and I mean it too.
Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged author, books, mo, modern, modernism, novel, novels, po, pomo, post, postmodern, postmodernism, writing
